ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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