I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
