try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
