i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
