Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
