Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
