is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
