Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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