shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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