How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
