My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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