I looked at my own cervix.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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