listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
