If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
These tits shall not be calmed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
