yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
