It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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