Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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