So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
