so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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