It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
