girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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