I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
