Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
