I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
