I'm going to jail i love you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
