I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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