Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
