we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
