party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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