you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
