I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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