How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
