why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
