i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
