You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
