im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I FOUND THE LEGS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
