I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
