I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
