We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My vagina is officially offended.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
