Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
