honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
