is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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