**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
