This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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