someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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