Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
