Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
