So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
