all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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