I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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